I think, well I hope… that one day being infatuated with romance will not come back to bite me in the butt!!! seriously… as of right now it’s one of the qualities I hate about myself. I LOVE love and I can’t even explain why. It doesn’t have to be love in my life… I like to see other people in love just as much as I love being in love myself. I can’t help but think to myself at times “what the hell is wrong with me?” you’d think if anything I’d be bitter about being alone.
The truth is I can’t be upset about being by myself because it’s ultimately my choice and a choice that I’ve found myself to be quite content with. I’m far from conceited but I’m well aware that if I wanted a boyfriend at the snap of my fingers, it wouldn’t be difficult to find someone willing. I think that’s the problem though… too many of the willing are not what I want and I REFUSE to settle. I have come across guys here and there who would probably be good for me and actually get my personality and vice versa, however it always seems that trying to date said guys let alone attempt to be in a relationship with them is always out of reach. So I shake it off…
I think my biggest frustration with dating is that I do not like to waste someones time, if I do not see potential for things to go further I nip it in the bud. I realize I’m still young but I don’t have time to play with a persons feelings and I would hope that the men out there would have the decency to not play with mine as well.
So for now I will just hold out hope that my day is coming… sooner or later… and try to be optimistic about the slight possibility I may have in the future with one of my crushes who actually lives within reasonable distance. I’m also going to focus on trying to handle my awkward friendship thing with my ex that I’ve mentioned in previous posts… I’m not going to wait around until I’m old and gray for him and if he’s not ready for me right now… then who is to say he ever will be again.