It’s been a while… I know, and I apologize. I know I only have a handful of people who subscribe to my blog but I need to do better with keeping it up to date and now that I’m finished with school I should have the time to… now on to the nitty gritty!
Sometimes I wish I could just lock my heart up and throw away the key, and its a shame because I’m a die-hard hopeless romantic. However, at times you have to use your brain and do what is best for you instead of letting your heart lead you off a cliff.
I’m one of those people who HATES being alone but would rather have it that way than to waste time being with someone who is no good for me. I will admit that I get lonely as hell some times but I know that wanting a significant other is just that a want not a necessity by any means.
I’m starting to remind myself of a classmate of mine who used to say over and over and over how she wanted a good man, blah blah blah… I used to shake my head as I’d read her posts on Facebook. But you know what? she’s happily married now… she made it clear what she wanted and she got it. I’m far from wanting to say I do but my mentality is beyond prepared for “the one” if he does in fact exist.
I have to admit that with most of the friends/acquaintances I know having someone of the significant other variety… I feel left out… and not even in the “I want what they have just because I feel left out” sense but more like the “when is it my turn?” sense… I have patience though, over time I’ve gotten a lot better with that… and I’m glad because if I hadn’t learned to be that way I would have settled for something and someone I did not want.
I’ve grown exhausted with getting my hopes up and being left feeling like an idiot by allowing my feelings to roam free, so for now I’m taking it day by day… trying to enjoy life and all this free time I have since wrapping up school. There is a certain someone I have my eye on… but I won’t go into that much just yet because I’d rather not jinx it… I’m just playing it by ear for the moment.