sticks-and-stones“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names (words) will never hurt me.”

^^^ that, has got to be the biggest load of crap I’ve ever heard in my life. It sounds good, but from personal experience couldn’t be more wrong. Words can cut very deeply and leave wounds invisible to the eye that a person may never get over. Its possible to heal from broken bones but the emotional scars left from words can last forever.

The past few days I’ve woken up with splitting headaches that make me want to chop my head off, but the feeling passes and I often go on with my day. Unfortunately for the past few days I’ve also felt an emptiness within myself that I cannot seem to shake.

People claim that words only affect you if you let them, but in reality some things can cut you like a knife before you even know it, and while putting on a tough face may fool a few people… deep down you know that you’re slightly broken over it.

Two-Thousand and Thirteen was a really funky year for me… there’s no way to sugar coat that truth. It was like being on a roller coaster with lots of drops and very few ups.

Many people I thought I knew turned about to be complete strangers, some turned their backs on me and others just completely disappeared without so much as a word.

It amazes me how you can spend so much time with a person, months or even years and realize that they don’t really know/understand you and that it probably goes both ways.

Yesterday in particular was a very rough day for me, a handful of my friends know why but I’ll spare the intricate details… however I will say that people never cease to surprise me. I suppose its better it happened yesterday than today, ending an already crappy year in crap beats starting a new one in it right?

I still can’t quite place exactly how I felt yesterday, it was a combination of anger, sadness, bitterness… confusion and frustration. To have someone who is an important part of your life (despite all your differences) just shut you out on a whim is nothing short of puzzling, but everyone has their reasons for what they do and as much as it hurts right now I’m certain that it must be for the best.

As always, I will continue to hold my tongue and not start with any name calling or public bashing because I know it wouldn’t solve anything. I’m more mature than that, if only others were. Despite cliches about your typical female… I cannot stand drama… its one of the many reasons I’ve decided to let social networking take a backseat this year. Beginning with no use of Facebook and very minimal use of Google+… and well, I never used Twitter or Instagram much so no changes there.

Before I get too sidetracked though… Point blank, sticks and stones hurt but words do as well and that’s okay. Its human to feel emotions as a result of what people say to you… and the closer they are to you the deeper it cuts but in time it’ll heal.

Stay positive, its not easy… I’m battling it myself right now but I know it’ll all get better in time.

Cues Leona Lewis: 

One thought on “STICKS & STONES.

  1. Steven says:

    Yeah people don’t realize how much words or even sometimes the lack of words can kill so much. I’m glad to see you are beginning your year in the right manner by leaving behind crap and continuing to grow regardless of everything around you. Feel free to hit me up anytime you want.

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