So, a few months ago I wrote a blog about going from lovers to friends and at the time it was purely hypothetical. There were a few people in my circle of friends that I could see myself dating at some point but the path to that with any of them had never been fully paved. Most of my friends are guys and thus at some point or another there has usually been a spark on one end or the other and occasionally both… but chemistry alone does not make a relationship nor does flirting.
While I had all these friends I liked or had crushes on at some point, all we did was flirt here and there or discuss what ifs and maybes…. there was never any certainty in any of it so I just kind of felt in limbo and truthfully like I just might be forever alone. I wasn’t interested in friends with benefits; I wanted something real with someone who was virtually on the same page as me with all the things that I felt mattered.
So fast forward a few months later to now and alas Rachel is no longer single, and its just as much of surprise to me as it likely is to everyone else in my life. Many people seem genuinely happy for me but I have had a couple of friends who basically either went off on me about it or just stopped communicating with me altogether… and it does suck but that’s life I guess. Honestly, I’m not angry about it though… I’m more disappointed than anything because if the tables were turned and they decided to date someone I would have been nothing but happy for them. Apparently there is some truth to the fact that you learn who your true friends are when major things happen to impact your life.
Enough beating around the bush though, I suppose its time to get to the real story here of how my new found love came to be… So I’ve had a friend who I’ve known for about 4 years and we’ve gotten closer and closer with each year. I’ve admired him and considered him one of my best friends for quite some time now and he has always been there for me through all my ups and downs whether its due to a romantic relationship, family crisis, or just to give it to me straight about various situations. He’s my voice of reason; especially at the times when I do not want to hear it and I have learned to be appreciative of that. I have watched him date quite a few people and he’s watched me date and fall for several myself. Until now we’d never really crossed the line with each other aside from very mild flirtation, we literally just kept it friendly. I know a handful of people have assumed we had previous history based on our closeness but scouts honor… never happened (and yes I realize I’m not an actual scout LOL).
A few months ago he made me promise that we would always be cool and be friends no matter what. He hinted at the fact that sometimes he thinks about me in a more than friendly way and is tempted to do things like drunk text me but has always fought it because he didn’t want to screw up our friendship or intervene if I was interested in someone else. He emphasized that ultimately he just wanted me to be happy and brought up how if we ever tried to be something more and it did not work out, he never wanted to lose me as a friend… and he pretty much left it at that. I made that promise to him and after that conversation we kind of dropped the subject and didn’t go back to it for awhile.
Shortly after Christmas things changed though, my
friend well now boyfriend (still adjusting to that) and I were talking one cold winter night and I was feeling a little down because I was missing my mom and feeling lonely. He started telling me how he wished he could be there for me, hold me, and cuddle with me… you know little mushy stuff. I’m a sappy chick and things like that make me melt so in my mind all I could think was “awww”. He literally said how much he wanted me to be with him so he could hold me when I’m sad, listen to me when I’m mad, or just be next to me if I want him to shut up while I game (swoons). We talked more about relationships and how it sucks being alone or wasting time on the wrong person and as the night went on it led up to him admitting that he thinks about me often and that he’s had several crushes on me in the past. He went on to say that while he admired that I was smart, beautiful, and sexy (blushes)… I was also one of his closest friends and he worried and cared about me. He admitted that when I’m sad, he’s sad and that when I’m happy, he’s happy… and that he wanted to give his all to the right woman and felt like that woman was me or could/should be me. He stated that he never said anything because he wasn’t sure that I’d feel that way towards him and that there was concern about messing up the friendship. He ended his confession with a note to just ignore everything he’d said if it sounded weird but it didn’t… it didn’t sound weird at all.
I took a moment to let everything he’d told me soak in before responding, but ultimately admitted that I had thought about us being together but never said anything for many of the same reasons. I felt like if anything he probably looked at me as a cute kid sister type of friend and that we’d probably never cross that line because if he never said anything I definitely wasn’t going to. I did however admit to him that I often wondered if I would meet someone like him because personality and interests wise he was exactly the kind of guy I wanted to be with. I had joked on a few occasions that he needed to make a clone of himself and send it my way and somehow he didn’t find that creepy… I should have known back then he was the one.
As the days after that conversation passed we continued to talk daily and bond on a more than friendly level; crossing past that blurred line of lovers and friends. Before I knew it he was calling me his girlfriend and I just accepted it because it felt right. I’m honestly not even sure what day we officially became a couple but we certainly are one now and I couldn’t be happier. The closer we become the more I start to think of how much time was wasted when we should have been together all along… but then I am reminded of the fact that everything happens in its own time. I feel like it took us being where we are now with extra life experiences we picked up along the way to truly be ready for one another.
I’m very grateful to have him in my life… I’ve felt that way since he was just a friend and now that he’s my man even more so. I’m extremely excited about spending a long weekend with him next month and checking out my future home… I’ve all but put a countdown widget on my computer. I’m also very happy that we both decided to “rock the boat” and take a chance on each other… I feel like its worth the risk. I truly love him and I have a feeling that we are going to have an epic life together full of laughter, nerdgasms, mushy moments and everything in between.