TURNING THE PAGE.

14141695_10154561200286579_563897163782956350_nSo I suppose with it being well into the second half of the year, that having a fresh start may seem a bit uncanny… However, this year has been quite a rocky one for me especially in regards to my health and instead of waiting til January to look for things to get better I am looking to the rest of this year.

For starters if anyone had told me around this time last year that I would have had two surgeries within the course of four months I’d have thought they were mad. I’ve always been fairly healthy and the one surgery I anticipated having this year was supposed to fix everything major. Unfortunately things were not meant to go that way, but I’m recovering well from the surgery in July and praying that I will not need another ever again. In addition, if someone had told me that I’d be married a year later to one of my best friends (particularly the one that always seemed like more of a big brother to me)… I’d have looked at them like”yeah right!”. However, life has a funny way of throwing you curve balls, some good and some bad. Continue reading

JUST GETTING STARTED.

loveYou know how you have those moments in life where it seems like everything is falling into place and you completely ignore your instincts telling you something is not quite right? Well, I do. I have had more moments in my life than I care to admit where I’ve made decisions with 100% heart and 0% brain… and while they seemed to go okay for awhile they eventually crashed and burned. I understand the importance of life lessons and I wouldn’t change any of my past experiences for anything in the world. I’m a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and in its own time.

For the first time in what seems like forever, my mind and heart seem to be on the same page and in complete unity. There is no little voice in the back of my mind saying “Stop, don’t do it!” and while its a bit unusual I’m loving it.

I’ll be 29 in a few months and while I’m not quite where I thought I would be in my life at this point, I do see the start line for so many things I’ve always envisioned for myself and it makes me immensely happy.  I’ve had to mentally process a good number of things within the past 2 years or so but I refuse to let those things get me down. I lost my mother at the beginning of last year (which most of you know) and I took that very hard… she was my best friend and the #1 person in my life and it happened so suddenly. This year would have been her 60th birthday and I had actually hoped to throw her a party, but she never knew and now it’ll never happen. It sucks that she won’t get to see me marry the love of my life or become a mother myself but I do feel like she’s still watching over me in some regard. Continue reading

ROCKING THE BOAT.

6358497343376300691293141863_love-mapSo, a few months ago I wrote a blog about going from lovers to friends and at the time it was purely hypothetical. There were a few people in my circle of friends that I could see myself dating at some point but the path to that with any of them had never been fully paved. Most of my friends are guys and thus at some point or another there has usually been a spark on one end or the other and occasionally both… but chemistry alone does not make a relationship nor does flirting.

While I had all these friends I liked or had crushes on at some point, all we did was flirt here and there or discuss what ifs and maybes…. there was never any certainty in any of it so I just kind of felt in limbo and truthfully like I just might be forever alone. I wasn’t interested in friends with benefits; I wanted something real with someone who was virtually on the same page as me with all the things that I felt mattered. Continue reading