ROCKING THE BOAT.

6358497343376300691293141863_love-mapSo, a few months ago I wrote a blog about going from lovers to friends and at the time it was purely hypothetical. There were a few people in my circle of friends that I could see myself dating at some point but the path to that with any of them had never been fully paved. Most of my friends are guys and thus at some point or another there has usually been a spark on one end or the other and occasionally both… but chemistry alone does not make a relationship nor does flirting.

While I had all these friends I liked or had crushes on at some point, all we did was flirt here and there or discuss what ifs and maybes…. there was never any certainty in any of it so I just kind of felt in limbo and truthfully like I just might be forever alone. I wasn’t interested in friends with benefits; I wanted something real with someone who was virtually on the same page as me with all the things that I felt mattered. Continue reading

FAREWELL 2015.

peacehandSo, I’m not sure what it is about New Year’s Eve that always makes me want to write but I think I’ve consistently done it a couple years in a row now. I thought about making a post on social media but I was like… why bore people with that? So I’m venting in my own little personal space.

I’ve been in a bit of a slump with my writing as of late both here and well… I don’t even want to get into my tech blog… its not dead but it is on life support and I have no idea when I’ll get around to showing it some more love… 2015 was not the best year of my life but it certainly wasn’t the worst either, I wish I had some long list of accomplishments as I did this time last year but no such luck.

The hardest part of this year hands down was losing my mother, and the fact that she died the first week in January meant that it was something that I had to deal with the entire year like a storm cloud overshadowing me. I’ve had a few bouts of depression off and on throughout the year over what happened but at the end of the day I haven’t let it get me down… and on the plus side I think my relationship with my dad has gotten stronger.  My mom was my very best friend in the world and I still hate the days when I pick up my phone and want to call her. The cruel reality sets in reminding me that it is no longer an option. Continue reading

FRIENDS TO LOVERS.

friendloversI’ve been working on this entry for 20 days now according to my revision history on WordPress which is pretty bad so I figured it was about time to polish it up, make adjustments and just pull the trigger (aka press publish). This is one of those things where I’ve had a thought I wanted to expand on for awhile but never quite knew how to put it all together… I don’t get writer’s block often but it does happen. I have wanted to write on this topic for over a month and even now I find it a struggle as this has been in draft form for an eternity… I’ve had several moments of staring at the screen watching the cursor blink at me like “come on already!” This was originally supposed to be my first entry post hiatus but I’ve somehow managed to bang out two posts while this one sat in draft mode possibly to never see the light of day. My hiatus ended up being a lot longer than I planned but sometimes life gets in the way of hobbies. I’m honestly not sure if I’m writing about this strictly to vent or because I want the opinions and feedback of others but feel free to leave a comment or respond to the post I share on Google+.

I’ve heard many people say that marrying or even dating your best friend is the best thing in the world, but from personal experience I’ve found that it can also be the worst. I often wonder when I see or hear about couples that are best friends if they reached that level of friendship before or after they got together… I’m not sure it makes a difference but I imagine it could. In my case, when I decided to dive in and date a friend about 5 years ago we were already best friends for a few years before we got to the dating part, there was always a chemistry between us but we held off on acting on it for quite awhile. I find myself thinking back on the situation from time to time wishing we’d never acted on it though because I lost one of my closest friends when it didn’t work out. I’ve also come to realize that I have regretted dating anyone I was friends with prior to, even if it wasn’t quite at the best friend level. Far too many of my past relationships have gone sour because we weren’t quite right for each other but tried anyway. I guess that’s life… if you don’t take a chance you’ll never really know what can happen. Continue reading